Why Many People in Life Are Not Comfortable With Themselves

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 Why Many People in Life Are Not Comfortable With Themselves

The truth is that many people are not comfortable with themselves. They are not happy either. I keep asking myself what might be the likely factors why many people are not comfortable and happy with themselves. As I watched people do their things and how they do their things I began to realize the secrets or the reasons why people are not comfortable and happy with themselves. Here are some reasons why many people are not comfortable and happy with themselves:

1.     1. Poor self-image: Most often, people tend to see themselves through a negative image by using their microscope. Using the microscope, you can only see a small tiny part of you. People have wrong view about themselves. They think they are not always good and strong enough. They think some other persons are better. They do not believe in themselves. They often doubt themselves into defeat. Poor self-image leads to low self-esteem, inferiority complex, poor self-acceptance.  You will always struggle to fit in because of poor self-image.

The image you have or create about yourself will definitely affect your actions. You are who you choose to be. You have a big chance to change how you are seeing yourself. If you think that you are not good then you are not good. Always learn to see yourself through a telescope. Telescope see the bigger picture of who you really are. By telescope, we mean seeing yourself from positive light. This helps you to stay poise, maintain your confidence and keep your mind stable and firm.

2.     2. Poor self-awareness: Poor self-awareness is another problem of people. They have not find and discover somethings about themselves. The knowledge they have about themselves is poor. They do not know much of themselves. Self-awareness helps you to discover your limitations and strength, your healthy habits and the unhealthy ones. And then try and do something about those unhealthy habits and limitations that you have.

Poor self-awareness make people not to be able to know their strength and what they are capable of doing. Poor self-awareness contribute in making people to avoid doing certain things they are capable of doing because they think they are not fit to do it. Self-awareness opens your mind to the unlimited things you can do, and how to go about doing them. And what to avoid doing? When you are not comfortable and happy, there is the issue of poor self-awareness around the corner.

3.     3. Lack of self-value: Another reason for why some people are not comfortable with themselves is lack or inadequate self-value. Many people in life are finding it hard to value themselves the way they ought to or should. On daily basis, people are not valuing themselves properly. They are fond of limiting themselves. The more you limit yourself, the more you become uncomfortable and unhappy with yourself. Self-value is the freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities. It is the quality of being worthy of esteem or respect. It is to regard yourself highly; think much of. Esteem; regard. When you have high value for yourself the way you should, it will boast your self-confidence and self-worth or self-esteem. This makes you to stay comfortable and happy.

4.     4. Lack of self-acceptance or self-toleration: Self-acceptance is the act of accepting yourself the way you are with all your limitations. It is an acceptance of yourself as you are, warts and all. The word wart means an imperfection in someone or something that is suggestive of a wart. Self-acceptance is the ability to tell yourself the truth of who you are without being ashamed of your limitations or weaknesses. Some people find it difficult to accept themselves the way they are and then try to do something about their limitations. They find it too difficult to tell themselves the truth.

That is they fail to accept themselves the way they are. They do not like themselves the way they should. That is why their minds are not always stable. A lack of self-acceptance brings sadness and dismay and frustration just to mention but these. This make people to be uncomfortable and unhappy with themselves.

Learning to accept yourself goes a long way to bring out the best in you. It helps you to focus more on your strength and find solutions to your shortcomings. When you accept yourself, you are learning to be yourself.  Some people struggle to be another person because they have not learn to accept themselves. That is why they are uncomfortable and unhappy with themselves.

5.     5. Pretending to be who you are not: Many people are suffering from the problem of pretense. Instead of being yourself, you are busy pretending to be someone else. Pretense may give you certain level of satisfaction at the short-run but in the long-run, it makes you uncomfortable and unhappy with yourself. When you are living in pretense, you are losing certain part of you.

Pretense do more harm than good to the person who is living that lifestyle. Pretense may be as a result of trying to please some people in order to create a false impression before them about yourself. Pretense makes people unhappy with themselves because deep down, what you want to achieve you have not yet achieve them.

It is a way of telling other people lies about yourself of who you are not. Pretense can survive only within a short period but at the long-run you will disgrace yourself. So, one source of why people are not comfortable and happy with themselves is pretense or pretending to be someone else.

6.     6. Self-doubt or doubt: Doubt is the lack of confidence in or have doubts about something. It is indecision, hesitation, hesitancy, irresolution, uncertainty. It is to fear; to be apprehensive. It is the uncertainty of judgement or mind. It is to fill with fear; to affright. It is the state of being unsure of something. Doubt discourages people and weakens the mind. It affects mentality or the mind negatively. 

When you have doubt in yourself and in what you love to achieve, your body system adjust to your doubt and become passive and weak paving the way for the things to be done not to be done. Doubt makes people to become undetermined and makes them fearful to fight till the end and stand firm and jump their hurdles.

Most people lose their sense of determination due to doubt. When you are about taking a step or making attempt at something, doubt pulls you back. It makes people not to be comfortable and happy with themselves. Instead of doubting yourself, learn to belief in yourself or have faith in yourself. Having faith in oneself, makes the person comfortable and happy with himself or herself.

7.     7. They are always comparing themselves with others: One other factor that is making many people to become uncomfortable, and unhappy with themselves is that they love comparing themselves with other people. You are you and I am me. All I need is me and all you need is you. So, why comparing yourself foolishly with other people. Comparing yourself with other people leads to pretense and false competition.

Most times, you end up spending your hard earned money carelessly and without moderation just because you want to belong. When you are busy comparing yourself with some other people and you cannot meet up in the long term, you will become sad with yourself, leading to frustration and depression and more stress and worry and the likes. Why not learn to be yourself and stop filling your life with unnecessary pains.

8.     8. They keep counting other people blessing: There are people out there who took pleasure counting other people blessing rather than counting their own. Most often, they do not see any reason counting their own. The more one keep counting other people blessing, the more unhappy and uncomfortable the person tend to be. Counting other people blessing often leads to jealousy and envy and grudges. This makes you to lose your peace of mind. It also make your mind not to be stable.

To maintain your happiness, learn to count your own blessing. When you are busy counting other people blessing, do you take the time to ask yourself whether you can do what they are doing. When other people are doing what they are supposed to do, on your part you were doing the things that you love and pleases you. How do you expect the same outcome or results? It is not possible.

You can see that counting other people blessing is serious waste of time and energy. Why not learn to do the things that you should do or be doing. It is by so doing that you can become comfortable and happy with yourself.

9.     9. Despair: Despair is the feeling that everything is wrong and nothing will turn out well. It is abandon hope’ give up hope; lose heart. It loss of hope; utter hopelessness; complete despondency. It is despond, lose all hope, give up all expectation, and be without any hope. We give so much power to despair and allow it to enslave us. This often leads to undue sadness, frustration, dismay, distress, anxiety, and poor self-image.

When you lose all hope, you will become uncomfortable and unhappy with yourself. You will stop pursuing your cherished purposes or desires. It will change you focus to some other lesser important things. You are no longer optimistic but rather you become pessimistic. Instead of looking at the sunny side of everything, you will rather look at dark side of things. Say yes to hope. Allow hope to rule and govern you and become optimistic about catching your cherished desires. This keeps you strong and steady. Thereby sustaining your focus.  

If you must control your uncomfortableness and unhappiness, take your time to learn doing the opposite of the factors discussed above and you will be glad you did and change the narratives.